BLOGGING CONFESSION

I have a confession.

I don’t want anyone to read my blog.

Ever.

So why have one? I mean, I’ve been content to fill journals for 25 years which I pull down from time to time to read and remember, yet they are largely for my eyes only. Why would I “all of the sudden” (15 years ago) want to start typing words on a computer from my heart that other people might read? People might find out one day that I have a blog. And they might want to see what I’ve put on it. {{shiver}}

How is it possible that so many people have crossed the terrorizing threshold of sharing their work online where the entire world might see it all? Everyone in the whole world! Which to me feels like a big leap – from scrambling to make sure the journal is closed securely when someone walks past, to popping it open for the entire planet to see?

What if I say something way off? What if I say something great, but poorly? What if I forget one of 713 grammar skills every American should graduate high school with?

But really though… WHAT IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY READS MY BLOG??

I feel like I should add some type of statistic here about wishful thinkers vs. people who change the world with their pens and all that, but ain’t nobody got time for that. Do I wish to change the world in the way inspired by Martin Luther who said, “If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write” (hopefully Martin Luther, and possibly paraphrased)? Why of course! Who wouldn’t want that sort of credential.

Skeptic: “What did you do with your life?”

Me: “I changed the world. With a pen.”

But what could I possibly have to say that could do so? What if my blog is the one people groan about when they stumble on it “again”? (Ever done that?) Could anyone possibly glean anything from what I have to say?

The truth is that I think it’s viable someone could. Maybe my blog and videos don’t change the course of history, but maybe they do encourage someone to keep going when they feel like giving up.

Either way, if you’re reading this: hi. I’m glad you’re here. I hope you’re not a critic. Regardless, I think I’ll still keep on with my small little blog.

Small is okay, right? Actually, small is great. Seeds – small. Babies – small. Stars – well, ginormous, but they appear small. Atoms and molecules – so small they’re invisible. This blog – small. But one day when I stumble into what to say on here, it might grow. And moreso once I get over my aversion to social media and start posting again {{cringe}}.

If you made it this far in the post and don’t think of me as a selfish coward, thank you. Just processing blogging…with the world.